


lady and the tramp

by thunderylee



Category: Kanjani8 (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Alternate Universe - Animals, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, attempted feline sexing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-08
Updated: 2011-04-08
Packaged: 2019-01-28 00:45:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12594252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: Ryo may have saved her first, but they really saved each other.





	lady and the tramp

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck.

Shigemi is lost. _Outside_. Her fur is on end, her back arched in preparation for anyone who may jump out at her. She’s never been outside before, but she hears stories from Tego-nyan. They’re probably not true, anyway. According to their human, Koyama, they’d rescued Tego-nyan when he was barely a kitten. He wouldn’t remember anything about the outside world.

Shigemi can understand Human, at least she thinks she can. She communicates just fine with hers, meowing when she’s hungry and pawing at his legs when she wants attention. Maybe it comes from being born domestic; Shigemi’s mother was a show cat. She’s not stuck up or anything, but she’s definitely smarter than Tego-nyan, who still chases his tail.

That’s probably because he’s a boy, she thinks as she creeps around the corner of a big building. She would kill for Tego-nyan to be here with her now, though. There’s something to be said for being protected by a boy, even if he is kind of dumb.

She finds herself in an alley, the excess of trash and filth making her wrinkle her nose. She wants to spend an hour cleaning herself just from being here. She meows loudly, praying that she’s not whoring herself out like a piece of catnip and a human will come find her and see her tags. When no one comes, she meows again, over and over because she’s learned that eventually someone will come if she’s persistent enough.

“Will you shut the fuck up? I’m trying to sleep here.”

Someone does come, but it’s not a human. It’s a stray, small and all black with bright yellow eyes and a limp. He – she wishes she couldn’t tell that he’s a boy – stalks toward her, matted tail curled in the air. He looks like he hasn’t had a good tongue bath in months.

“I’m lost,” she tells him, shaking from her fear as she backs up against the wall.

“You’re a cat?” the stray gasps. “You look like a fucking fox and cry like a bitch.”

Shigemi folds down her ears. “Just because I’m orange doesn’t make me a fox. Don’t be racist, you ignorant feline.”

“Ignorant?” he repeats. “You can’t even find your way home, and you’re calling me ignorant?”

She ignores him and keeps meowing, scampering up to the doors to be heard better. The stray just flops onto his side and watches, tail waving in amusement.

“Keep bothering them, you’ll see what happens,” he drawls lazily.

Curling her tail around herself properly, Shigemi sits pretty in front of the door with the most noise inside and continues crying. The smells wafting by are really good – must be a restaurant. It’s not anything she recognizes, though, which is odd because her human loves to cook.

Suddenly the door swings open and Shigemi scurries for the feet, looking cute and playful and _definitely_ jingling her tags so that the human will notice her.

“Fucking cats! Go away! Get!”

The tip of his boot connects with her shoulder and she’s knocked backwards, landing on her butt in a pile of trash. The man dumps more garbage into a can and laughs at Shigemi scrambling to get to her feet as he goes back inside and closes the door.

She expects laughter from the stray, looking down at him with angry tail, but he’s just laying his head on his paws.

“That was a bad choice,” he says. “The guys who work at that Italian restaurant hate cats.”

“How could anyone hate cats?” Shige wonders out loud.

He scoffs. “You’re cute. Naïve, but cute.”

“I don’t feel very cute right now,” she admits, standing up on the edge of the can before jumping down. “I’ll be bathing now.”

It’s so gross to clean herself in such a dirty place, but she really has no choice. She has honestly never been more disgusted, and she cleans Tego-nyan on a regular basis. That’s just what you do when you live with another cat, even if you don’t really like each other.

She doesn’t notice the stray watching her until she switches sides, rolling over carelessly. “Don’t you have anything better to do?”

“Not particularly,” he answers. “And you’re interesting.”

“Thanks, I think,” she replies. “Are you from Kansai? I’ve only heard your accent on TV.”

“Osaka,” he tells her. “You’re smart, too.”

“Of course I am.” She puffs out her chest haughtily. “I’m domestic.”

He _laughs_. Rolling around on the ground, ending on his back and eyeing her upside-down. “You got a name, lady?”

“Shigemi,” she introduces herself properly.

“I’m Ryo,” he says casually. “What are you going to do when you’re hungry?”

She pauses mid-lick, already thinking about how long it’s been since she ate. “I-I don’t know.”

“In about an hour, those cat-haters will toss out another bag of trash and close shop for the night,” Ryo reports. “This bag will have the food they didn’t sell. All we have to do is knock over the can and rip open the bag.”

“The trash?!” Shigemi exclaims. “Are you serious?”

His ears fold down. “Hey, I’m willing to share with you! Because you’re cute,” he adds as he limps closer.

“What happened to your leg?” she asks curiously.

“Disagreement,” is all he says. “Come here, I’ll get your neck.”

That’s awfully nice of him, Shigemi thinks, if not a bit forward. She’s not about to pass up a free grooming, though, so she meets him halfway and leans down as he licks her scruff. It feels nice, different than when Tego-nyan does it, and soon she’s purring for the first time since she got lost.

“Mm, you like it,” Ryo says into her fur. “Are you spayed?”

“What?” she asks, distracted by the feeling. “What does that mean?”

She figures it out as he tries to mount her, her claws coming out as she hisses and sends him crashing into the garbage can. Tego-nyan never did _that_ to her!

“Ow, bitch,” Ryo groans, slowly getting back to his feet. “You could have just said ‘stop’. _Fuck_.”

“I understand how you got injured now,” she says, her fur still sticking straight up.

“Not from that.” He grins. “They usually don’t push me away.”

That’s more information than Shigemi cares to know. “Don’t do that again!”

“Sorry,” Ryo says, not sounding very sorry at all. “I figured we could kill time until the restaurant closes, but I suppose we can do it like prudes and just _talk_.”

Shigemi is apprehensive at first, but talking to Ryo isn’t so bad. He’s been on his own his whole life, having been the runt of a large litter who couldn’t keep up with the others, traveling the country at his own pace until he got hurt in a fight. He sticks to this alley now, feeding off of discarded food and writing his memoirs, although she’s pretty sure he’s lying about that last part. Everyone knows cats can’t write.

Cats can’t _read_ , either, which frustrates her to no end. If Ryo could read her tags, he could help her get home. He knows this area well. She can’t even relay any kind of specific surroundings or what her house looks like from the outside because she’s an indoor cat. The few times she was taken out to go to the vet, she was in a carrier and too scared to do anything except cry.

The door bangs open and having learned her lesson the last time, Shigemi flees behind Ryo as the restaurant employee dumps the trash just like Ryo had predicted. She remains where she is after he leaves, tail flopping at the mats in Ryo’s fur.

“If I clean you, will you try to jump me again?” she asks cautiously.

“I can’t make any promises,” he replies, but tucks his feet under his body and leans his head down anyway.

She takes her chances, attacking the foreign fur with her tongue, and thankfully Ryo doesn’t move. He’s not purring, either, but she figures he’s not used to being properly cleaned. She imagines it probably feels kind of weird if you haven’t grown up doing it. It takes longer than it should because he’s so unkempt, but at least he’s a short-hair. She usually ends up coughing up hairballs after she cleans Tego-nyan, and that’s just not ladylike to do in front of strangers.

Ryo is motionless even when she approaches his tail, which leads her to think that he fell asleep on her. Already he looks better, shiny black fur reflecting the streetlight, and she notices his whiskers twitching. He _is_ asleep, the bastard. And now she’s hungry.

“Ah!” he exclaims, scrambling to his feet after Shigemi bites his tail. “What the fuck was that for?”

“Food,” she says pointedly.

“Okay, okay.” He shakes himself awake, licking over a few spots Shigemi had already groomed, and approaches the can. “Help me knock this over.”

It’s actually kind of fun, like knocking over her human’s stack of magazines after he carefully arranges them, even if it starts to hurt after awhile. Eventually they get it to fall over, the sharp crash sending Shigemi flying across the alley, and Ryo’s laughing at her when she creeps back out.

Then he rips open the bag with his teeth and it’s like a buffet, noodles and red sauce and balls of meat on display for their taking. Ryo tears in without any pleasantries and Shigemi does the same, the pleasant aroma making her purr as she tries a little bit of everything. Wordlessly, Ryo noses a meatball at her and she bites into it, closing her eyes at the delicious taste as she chews and goes back for more.

It’s so good that she isn’t paying attention to anything else, slurping a noodle that seems neverending until her whiskers come in contact with his. Her eyes fly open, see his regarding her close proximity through narrow slits, and bites off the noodle to let him have the rest.

Instantly his tongue is on her face, cleaning what is undoubtedly red sauce from her fur, and it feels right to butt her head against his. He stares at her as he cleans his own face, until Shigemi takes over and snuggles closer when he finally purrs.

It’s a loud rumbling, louder than both Tego-nyan and the engine of her human’s car, but it’s the most beautiful noise she’s ever heard.

*

“Shige! Shigemi-chan, where are you!”

“Address me properly, I’m older than you,” Shigemi murmurs as she wakes up, feeling warm despite the cold night and even colder concrete ground.

Her eyes fly open as she remembers where she is, with whom she’s curled up, and whose voice she just heard. “Tego-nyan?”

“Tego-nyan!” Koyama’s voice calls in the distance, sounding strained. “Slow down!”

A ball of pure white fluff appears at the end of the alley, and Shigemi gets to her feet. “Tego-nyan!” she exclaims.

“I found you!” Tego-nyan declares happily, skidding to a stop and sitting pretty with his nose in the air. “As expected.”

Shigemi watches Koyama almost fall over behind him and notices the line of fabric connecting the pair of them. “Are you on a leash?”

“So I don’t lose him,” Tego-nyan tells her.

She circles him, purposely smacking him in the face with her tail. “ _Right_.”

“Shigemi-chan!” Koyama exclaims, dropping to his knees to reach for her. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

He goes to pick her up, but she remembers Ryo and jumps out of his arms.

“What, baby?” Koyama asks. “Don’t you want to come home?”

Tego-nyan’s tail swings quickly from side to side as he notices the other cat in the shadows. “Who is that, Shige?”

“He saved me,” she replies, trotting back over to where Ryo is watching this whole exchange with no expression. “This is Ryo.”

Ryo looks unimpressed with them all. “What are you doing,” he says flatly to Shigemi.

“Trying to get you a home,” she hisses. “Now look cute.”

Yawning, Ryo rolls over onto his back. “I’m too feral to live inside.”

“Besides,” Tego-nyan boasts. “I am the male cat of this house.”

“With what balls?” Ryo shoots back, then laughs at Tego-nyan’s confused expression. “You don’t even remember what it’s like to have them, do you?”

“Ryo-chan, be nice,” Shigemi scolds him.

He cuts his eyes to her. “You called me Ryo-chan.”

Shigemi wraps her tail around herself protectively.

“It’s cute,” Ryo says. “You’re cute.”

Tego-nyan growls and leans down into a pounce stance.

“No!” Koyama cries. “Bad kitty, no fighting!”

“Your human is kind of lame,” Ryo comments. “Are you sure he can handle all three of us?”

“He’s a cat lover,” Shigemi tells him. “If you look cute, he’ll be smitten and take you home with us. He’s easy.”

Ryo glares at her as he gets to his feet. “I hope you understand how humiliating this is for me.”

Then he limps towards Koyama, which has both Koyama and Tego-nyan pouting in sympathy, and rubs his face against Koyama’s legs. When Koyama carefully reaches down to pet him, Ryo flops onto his back and pats clawless paws on Koyama’s hand as it rubs his belly.

“Attention whore,” Tego-nyan chides.

“We know our own,” Shigemi shoots back, ducking as Tego-nyan swats at her head.

“Aw, were you taking care of my Shigemi?” Koyama says in this sickening baby voice to Ryo, and Shigemi meows at her name. “I guess I can take you in, too.”

Ryo looks smug.

“But you’re getting neutered first thing in the morning,” Koyama goes on firmly. “We can’t have you fighting with Tego-nyan.”

Shigemi cowers as Ryo rolls onto his feet and approaches her. “This is how much I like you.”

He head-butts her, earning a hiss of jealousy from Tego-nyan, but Shigemi’s tail sticks straight up in pleasure.

*

Ryo doesn’t adapt well to domestication, but he tries. The whole concept of using a litter box is foreign to him, but after Shigemi starts ignoring him every time he goes where he pleases, he makes an effort to train. Canned cat food isn’t nearly as tasty as Italian rejects, but it’s worth not sleeping on the cold ground anymore. He even becomes fascinated by the carpet and how his claws just sink into it, at least until Koyama sprays him with a water bottle and Shigemi mocks him from the windowsill.

Tego-nyan doesn’t approach him until he gets fixed, and it’s only because Ryo’s still drugged that he doesn’t put up a fight when Tego-nyan plops his white furry butt right in front of him. Ryo cleans him because he has nothing better to do, and Tego-nyan won’t leave him alone after that. Sometimes Shigemi thinks that he’s a clingier girlfriend than she is.

But it’s okay, because now she has _three_ men under her command.


End file.
